Over the next three weeks I want to share with you my top three passions and how they changed my world and I would love for you to share yours with me too.
No1. My Daughter.
She is my number one passion and always will be though the need for my involvement is lessening as she gets older she is still the passion that takes up the most time. Almost everything I do has her in the forefront of it. I am passionate about giving her the best opportunities I possibly can if that meant take jobs I hated, travelling 20 miles a day for a good school, or going without so be it. I love to watch her grow and learn, I love watching the person she is becoming and the friend she is. Remembering her younger years always makes me wish I could go back but that's my selfish side. I can't wait to see where she goes and what she gets up to. I have so much hope wrapped up in her not hope for me but hope for her, I hope she has it easier than I did, I hope she finds her career path quicker than I did and I hope she travels more than I did.
As you can imagine or know a child changes your whole life so I won't go into the usual sleepless nights and constant worry for her I want to tell you how she actual saved my life. I fell pregnant at the age of 19years old. I gave birth to my baby just a month before I turned 20. I was lost at 19 years old and had been since I was 16 when my whole world fell to the ground around me. I was on a path a path I had planned from the age of 7. I wanted to be a teacher I had worked so very hard to get the GCSE results that would get me to the A levels I needed to go to University to get my teaching degree. This was a plan I'd been developing for 9 years in was ingrained in me.
During my first year at A levels I fell head over heels (as you do at the age) with a guy he was my first proper boyfriend. I wrapped my whole world around him and my studies started to slip. I spent every day with my best friend she had chosen to do the same courses as me so we talked about our boyfriends all day long. It was the best time I had so much fun with these people and my wider circle of friends. Long story short my best friend and my boyfriend did the unthinkable and I lost the two most important people in my life at the same time. I was behind in my studies and everyday was face to face with the person who'd hurt me the most and I couldn't cope.
At 16 I was put on anti-depressants and I fell into a very dark hole the next three years were the darkest of my life. I don't need to go into it as I'm sure you can imagine how badly that kind of loss at any age could affect you and then imagine how it would have affected you at the age of 16*. At 18 I started dating my daughters father we worked together, I figured I needed to get back out there and my work friends encouraged me. My daughter was not planned I was still in a recovery period, I was slowly believing in people again but still very hurt and still having some very dark moments.
The moment my daughter was born everything changed I felt overwhelming love for this gorgeous little girl. Someone needed me someone depended on me and she wasn't going to leave me. My focus was no longer me and my problems it was this little girl and doing everything in my power to make her life the best I could. I still had still have dark moments but she is still they one person who can pull me out of it because she will ALWAYS be MY daughter and she will always need me and I always want to be there for her. She is my biggest love and my biggest passion I will forever be grateful to for her being delivered to me. My photographs of her are one of my most valued possessions one day in the not to distant future she'll be gone off to college living her life and I can tell you now her images will become even more precious.